What I Mean Is
by jj-chan
Summary: Sora. Riku. And a hundred different ways of saying I Love You.
1. Sky

Dedicated to all you Riku/Sora shippers. This fic is MY way of saying I love you.

* * *

**Sky**

**-**

Riku lies back on the grass, puts his hands under his head. He yawns lazily and lets the breeze blow by, rippling and rustling the greenery. He faces the sky.

It is big and brilliant blue, summer bright. Cloudless and clear.

"Sora," he remarks idly, "your parents must have been looking into your eyes when they named you."

Sora sits, beside him as always, and smiles.

**-**

**End **

* * *

In case you didn't know, Sora means sky. :D Feed me with reviews? 


	2. Mistletoe

Kingdom Hearts is not my property. This holds true throughout the entire fanfic. No plot _stand alone_ drabbles, and set before the game/AU. Unless otherwise stated.

I dedicate this to Falaphesian and ALL her fics, because Ori's THAT darn awesome. Her OCs are lovable, and her stories are bits and pieces of raspberry heaven (hint hint), even the non-Sora/Riku ones.

* * *

**Mistletoe**

The Christmas party is in full swing.

It's snowing outside, and there are swirls of frost against the window. Inside, it is warm, cozy; echoing with cheerful conversations, snatches of Christmas carols, and the occasional yelp of surprise and indignation.

Walls are adorned with random decorations of reindeer, Santa Angels, and paopu fruits. The air smells of cinnamon cookies and other warm, tasty things. The tree is there, glittering and bright, the topmost star leaning and lopsided in a very cheerful way.

Tidus is drunk from the spiked punch, Kairi is very close to being drunk off the spiked punch, the guests are mingling, Wakka is expanding his collection of blitzball accessories, and Selphie is Being Selphie.

But Sora hardly notices.

Because Riku is pulling away, slowly, and Sora can see his lashes, can see just how green his eyes are. Riku smirks devilishly, but it doesn't quite look the same as normal. He leans forward again, very close, and doesn't seem to mind that red-faced Sora is completely frozen in place.

"Mistletoe," he whispers.

**End **

* * *

Lol, I missed the season by months! XD Merry Christmas everyone! PS: Thanks to BTW... I was supposed to change it to 'punch' but i never got around to it and forgot, until you reminded me. Muchos gracias! 


	3. Spar

This one's for Uzumaki-sama, author of Stygian Solace and a Complete 180. Those two fics are recommended indeed

* * *

**Spar**

Riku lets Tidus win, sometimes, when his eyes are shining and his blows are particularly strong. He might let the blond win when Tidus gets a droop in his shoulders and stiffness in his speech.

He lets Selphie win every time she ingests a whole sack of candy, which is thankfully a very rare event, as she tends to get insane and reckless if she overdoses on sugar.

He lets Wakka win whenever he feels like it, but he almost never feels like it.

And there is Sora. He runs up to Riku, boyish face alight with determination and enthusiasm. There is a spark in his eyes, and he moves nimbly, eager to fight, to win. He is always beaming, cheeks cherry pink, and for some reason Riku feels weak.

Riku never lets Sora win.

**End **

* * *

I hope you guys got the message…though it sucked anyhow. T.T Review please, even critical ones console me!


	4. Again

For a certain idiot, who took my hand and hasn't let go yet. You're crazy, man. o.O

* * *

**Again**

"Riku, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

Riku is silent, expressionless behind the blindfold.

"…should never have hesitated, should have done this a long time ago…"

Sora grabs his hand, holding it tightly, and Riku finally responds and pulls him in a bone-crushing hug, both crying, their salty-sweet tears mixing – and still their fingers are loosely intertwined.

This time, Sora never ever wants to let go.

**End **

**

* * *

**

Post KH, extremely shortened excerpt from an unposted, baaaaad fanfic of mine. XD This is just as bad, but at least it's shorter.


	5. Chocolates

This is for Angel, a VERY spiffy girl who dragged me over to shounen-ai (GB! GB! GB!) and introduced me to its wonders. The WHOLE fic is one-half her fault. Love ya, Mommy.

* * *

**Chocolates**

Riku gets a lot this year.

Some small, some large, some looking like experiments from a mad scientist's lab, some store bought with gaudy wrappings, in squares, hearts, triangles and the occasional 'RIKU-shape'.

There is dark, milky white, with almonds, without peanuts, sprinkled with raisins and filled with all sorts of things. Mostly from girls, but Wakka gives him one every year, hideously pink and as a joke.

A few go with roses, but the almost all have cards or letters. Riku sorts through them with less cheer than expected.

Then he sees it.

'It' is obviously homemade, sloppily wrapped but done with effort; with care. 'It' is a little squished, slightly bent out of shape, and comes with a short note.

_Happy Hearts Day, Riku! _

– _Sora_

Grinning madly, Riku lets loose loud _whoop._

**End **

* * *

Ookay…since I'm not sure they celebrate it, this is probably AU … please review? XD


	6. Gift

For Inso, or Insomniak: the other one – she's kept me in place. With pretty, pretty pictures. I never look at familiar bishies the same way again. The fic is one-half your fault, girl. ((glomps)) :'D

* * *

**Gift**

"Huh?"

Sora blinks, then blushes, staring at the thin, neatly wrapped rectangle in his hands. How can Riku be so casual about it?

"It's _Valentines Day_, you goof, you're supposed to give this to the people you like." Riku leans in, brushing his forehead against Sora's, smiling craftily. "What, Sora, don't you think that includes you?"

"B-but Riku, I'm–" _Beet red. Stuttering. Flustered. And in shock, because you can't possibly mean it _that_ way – _

"It's a gift. Accept it."

"A-alright…thank you."

Riku chuckles.

"See, that wasn't so hard now, was it?" He brushes his lips against the other boy's, lightning fast, then jogs off, waving; leaving a thought-jumbled Sora behind to wonder if he's still dreaming.

**End **

* * *

If Riku gets one from Sora, Sora gets one from Riku. Else it'd be unfair, no? Companion piece to "Chocolates", probably earlier on the same day. I don't like this one much, though. XD 


	7. Late

Riku and Sora belong each other. Exclusively. And screw canon if it says otherwise. X3

For Vash's Girl and "Mr. Flufflesworth", who made me remember. And Inso, again, 'cuz it's her birthday and all. x3 HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

* * *

**Late**

Riku sits, and glares. The sun is blazing but the air is cool, and everything in the shop smells sweet. But he doesn't notice, because he is hot piping mad.

Sora is late. And while Sora is usually late anyway, this time the blue-eyed boy is Very Very Late. There could only be one reason for it, which makes Riku glare harder and scare random passersby.

Because that means he was, or still is, with Kairi, and Riku really dislikes that. He's bothered by the way she acts around Sora and the way he responds, because that means she could take Sora completely away from him, and –

"_Rikuuu_! Rikurikurkuriku…I'm sorry I'm late, but she…"

– suddenly he finds himself with an armful of Sora, apologetic and squirming, but Riku won't forgive him that easily because he is STILL mad, and –

"…when all I wanted was to be with you!"

– there is that sad, earnest pout again, and Riku mellows, decides that it is alright, because Sora is here, and besides, Sora _wanted_ to be here, didn't he?

With him.

**End **

**

* * *

**

I was in the middle of writing this and got interrupted. Hope it's still good. XD


	8. Cut

This is dedicated to Slashapalooza and her beautifully written fics. Thank you for the sweetness!

* * *

**Cut**

**-**

When Sora cuts his finger, Riku teases him for the brightness in his eyes and the quaver in his voice. He then washes it, applies antiseptic and bandages it.

"There, you goof, good as new," he says.

When Riku gets cut, a concerned Sora tugs on his finger and kisses it better.

-

**End **

**

* * *

**

FYI: I'll probably dedicate more drabbles to my fave writers. I love their stuff to pieces, but I am mentioning them without permission and I am quite willing to retract their names and apologize (read: open mouth, insert foot) if they wish me to.

But back to the fic. This is my shortest one yet! Comments?


	9. Rain

For FruchiSeka (Wholly Addicted to You), who made me laugh several times over. Pass the cockpo – erm, pass the popcorn, please. XD

* * *

**Rain**

Every once in a while they walk home together during late afternoon. The sunsets on Destiny Island are usually beautiful.

Usually, Sora runs on ahead, smiling or teasing or pouting playfully.

Usually, Riku is relaxed, taking long unhurried strides as Sora runs circles around him.

But today the clouds are heavy and gray, and they are in a hurry to get home.

Suddenly, it drizzles; seconds later, it pours. Riku curses angrily and Sora groans, but then he gives in to nature and laughs; going in teasing circles around Riku, splashing in puddles, blue eyes alight with the promise of fun.

Riku joins reluctantly, feeling foolish, but soon he is laughing, too.

**End **

* * *

I'm sorry, but this does NO justice to all the writers I've been dedicating the chapters to. I'd read their stuff if I were you. But please – leave me a review!


	10. Tattoo

For Nii-chan, who put whisky in my milk, made me drink it, and told me afterwards that I made a terribly sober drunk. Includes not so subtle Cloud/Sephiroth.

* * *

**Tattoo**

One night, Yuffie threw a wild party.

Everyone got roaring, pole-axed drunk. And because everyone got roaring, pole-axed drunk, none of them remember any of the otherwise memorable events of the night before. In fact, they all woke up with massive hangovers, except Selphie, who's immune to those kinds of things.

But after they regained their senses, practically everyone burst out laughing. Except for the really grim ones like Leon.

Why?

See, they were all covered in colored pen _tattoos_. Very _expressive_ tattoos. Tidus had pink winged bunnies, Ansem was covered in hearts and peace symbols, and Sephiroth was sporting a very conspicuous "I AM CLOUD'S XXXXX" on his back.

So, with all the gaudy new decorations over everybody else, no one seemed to notice that Sora and Riku were sporting each other's names over their chests, right over the place where hearts are supposed to be.

And no one seemed to notice that the tattoos were quite old, and quite permanent.

* * *

**End **

This one is obviously AU. I know it stinks, but please review!


	11. Names

Ya know… suggestions are very much appreciated. For Maxine-san, and First Kisses.

* * *

**Names **

Isn't it funny, sometimes, when two people are conversing, and soon the voices trail off, leaving silence to claim the air and thoughts to wander, totally off-tangent? Riku would think so, but his mind is on other things.

"Riku."

_Sora_. He concludes that he likes it. The name, that is.

"Riiiiiku."

It's a nice name. It speaks of an endless expanse of blue, changing, shifting shades as it goes from calm to stormy.

"Rikurikurikuriku…"

He likes the way it rolls easily off his lips, light and lilting.

"Rikuuuuu…"

It's interesting the way Sora's eyes fit his name. There is –

"_Ri_-_ku_."

Crap. Caught spacing out again, Ri-_ku_? Over melodramatic musings about his best friend's name, too.

"Yes, Sora?"

Said boy gives a visible start. That's strange. Or not, considering the fact that this is _Sora_, and that they're both feeling more than a little strange today.

"H-huh?"

Riku spears him with a_ look_.

"W-well...you know…" Sora stutters, his face glowing a cute shade of pink, "I was just thinking, see, yournamesoundsnicenomatterhowIsayit."

**End **

* * *

To clarify, Sora says "your name sounds nice no matter how I say it." Both of them spacing out at the same time? Wonder what they were talking about. XD

Fla-review me! You know you wanna. But diss the sucky writing, not the pairing.


	12. Interlude: How NOT To Say I Love You

Got bogged down by life, couldn't upload sooner. Please review this one, for I have ventured into angst/drama/utter crap; something I haven't written before. "My" account may show thirteen stories, but it was a joint account until recently: most aren't mine. So please – tell me if I crashed and burned before takeoff.

This is dedicated to Sakura (still can't get over the fact that _you_ reviewed _me_), who wanted some drama, and the reviewer who wanted something longer. I know this prolly isn't what you two had in mind, sorry. Your suggestions are gems: you have my love!

EEK. I "edited" and reposted it.

**

* * *

**

Hajime

-

"_Morning, Riku!"_

"_Good morning Skylark."_

"_I have a name, you know, it's Sora. _So. Ra._ That's not so hard to say, Ri-ku."_

"_Mmm. Love ya too So-chan."_

-

"Tell him tonight, Sora."

"You can do it!"

"Don't be scared, what's the worst that could happen? Wait, don't answer that."

"Just tell him calmly, don't freak out…"

"If it gets really bad, you can just take a leaf out of Selphie's book: say you've been eating sugar cookies and leave it at that."

"…"

"…"

"This isn't working, is it?"

Sora stands by a moolit porch, mentally going over the speech for what seems like the hundredth time. How hard can a confession be?

It is night in autumn, and he shivers in the cold, even though he has a scarf – well, two, actually, but he is saving that for when Riku gets home, undoubtedly freezing cold, because nobody expected the cold spell to arrive, least of all Riku, and Sora is planning a warm, cozy welcome to set the mood. Hopefully. God willing.

Plus the mice in his stomach aren't so noticeable when he has something to occupy his hands with, and wringing the scarf in his fists calm him somewhat.

"You've put this of for waaay too long, Sora! You can't back out now!"

Really, talking to oneself looks crazy and sounds worse, but he doesn't mind. Tonight, Sora is telling Riku his feelings, once and for all. No more typed anonymous letters or ambiguous words, no sir! He's finally coming clean.

Still, it would help if Riku has the even the smallest suspicion that Sora's feelings might not be as brotherly as they seem. Honestly, for one so sharp, Riku could be so _dense_. It probably has to do with the fact that Sora's been acting the same way towards him since birth, but really! It would make things a lot easier.

So he waits by the door, psyching himself out until Riku comes home, strangely starry-eyed and blabbering and unmindfully returning the warm, cheerful greeting Sora has worked so hard to compose.

His face is flushed, and he is panting, and Sora can tell that whatever Riku is, it is definitely ­_not_ cold, because he has on a ridiculous jacket with a furry collar, but he isn't thinking about that right now.

Okay, Sora thinks, it can wait, then, because Riku is obviously in no mood for awkward love confessions right now, it's okay, there are plenty more chances to –

It's about this time that his ears catch up with this head, and he realizes that Riku is gushing. Not over something, like this absolutely awesome new version of this and that, but over some_one_.

With a great body, longish brown hair, tan skin, and deep blue eyes. Blue _gray_ eyes, a strong, silent demeanor, an ass to _die_ for, and – oops, sorry Sora, didn't mean to offend you and all but _seriously…_

With a sinking feeling, Sora realizes this person is definitely not him. He wonders why his heart isn't splintering loudly.

No, that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt.

"Who…?"

"Squall," replies Riku, dreamily.

-

"_Silly Sora, boys like us don't kiss on the lips!"_

"_Oh yes they do!"_

"_No they don't! Only teenagers and grownups kiss each other like that!"_

-

It is morning a few weeks after, and Riku pukes into the toilet and moans. Sora is right behind him, simultaneously keeping his hair out of the way, rubbing his back, and murmuring soothing words.

He pitches into the bowl once more and Sora automatically adjusts his position, almost like he's a pro, even though it hasn't ever happened before, not with Riku, at least.

He could pretend to not know why in the world Riku would venture into a nightclub by himself, pretending to be of age and scheming devilishly without telling his best friend, but he knows the answer. Squall.

Riku would sneak into some seedy club without letting anyone know, not even Sora (who knows everything that Riku is up to except when the joke involves Sora himself), just for a glimpse of some older man. Acting all cool and cocky and confident just to be recognized and noticed by that person, who, from the sound of it, doesn't seem to give a damn about him anyway.

What would he feel if Riku was stalking him like this in the hopes of gaining his recognition, his affection? What would he do? What if he was as forward as Riku in the first place? How can Riku be so careless, daring, whereas Sora was the exact opposite?

But he's brought back to earth as the other boy's stomach is emptied, as he helps him limp out of the bath and pulls the blankets over him. Then he goes down into the kitchen, thinking that no matter what, it doesn't _matter_, because _Sora_ is the one Riku goes home to. Always Sora, who is willing to welcome him back.

Later he enters the room again, and Riku morosely looks up from the bed.

"Ugh," he gives a gut-wrenching groan, shuddering, but Sora can tell that he's just being overboard again. "This feels so _awful_, I _almost _think it wasn't worth it."

"Drink up," he mutters, handing over an awful-looking, sweet-smelling concoction to help with the headache.

"Thanks. What did I do to deserve you?"

Sora smiles and rolls his eyes.

-

"…_always knew I was gay? Weren't you scared I'd jump you in your sleep or something? "_

"_W-what!"_

"_Heh, chill, _So-ra_. I would _never_ do that to_ you_."_

-

Squall loves Riku, too.

Sora can see it in his eyes, in the shooting glances, and gets a bad shock when he becomes aware that Leon is acting exactly the way _he_ did, years ago. The only difference in that this time, Riku sees it.

He is spending a lot more time with Squall, now. Sora wonders what happened, but then decides that this is _Riku_ after all, the very same Riku who can make anyone fall in love with him of he wants to. Even if they didn't want to and tried resisting against his, well, irresistible pull.

"Mmm hmm hmm, it's not love … Dum dum dum, it's gravitation…"

"Eh, what was that?"

"No, nothing…"

When the introductions are made, Sora is quiet and less cheerful, and he actually shoots a _glare_ at Squall, and while it should be made clear that it's nowhere near Leon's league, it is a glare nonetheless. Everybody else puts it down to protectiveness, and Riku, who isn't looking, misses it.

He is pulled aside by Leon, who isn't fooled, and Sora regrets that, but answers his questions tersely, if a bit too honestly, and a truce is formed, along with a vow of secrecy. He thinks that they will get along famously, after all, and maybe even with Squall around, he won't feel so left out anymore.

"Are you _sure_ you're alright with this?"

"I'll be alright, as long as he's – both of you are – happy."

Okay, so maybe he lies a little, but that's what he hopes.

Later they all go to the park at Riku's invitation, and everyone has a lot of fun, but he excuses himself early, ignoring a pointed look from his not-quite-rival, because it's one thing hearing about it and seeing it, and frankly, even Sora can't take too much.

He goes home, up to his room, shuts the door and flings himself down on the bed, hugging his pillow tight.

And cries over Riku, for the first and last time.

-

"…_never ever, so you can just go bite me."_

"_What, again? Nice fetish you've got there, Sora-darling."_

"_Haha, very funny."_

-

Sora can't pinpoint exactly when his feelings changed from platonic to romantic, but he suspects it's been like that all along.

It was nice, at first, something warm and fluffy in his chest, but come high school it was a different matter entirely, nervous butterflies (well, stampeding oxen might be more fitting) and bad self-issues, and a period of no sleepovers because he was afraid of sleeptalking in a very inappropriate manner. It faded into some sort of quiet resignation, still powerful, but tired, worn. Time does that.

He's been Riku's best friend since forever, right behind him, and maybe he'd laugh if he has a good grip on irony and sarcasm, because maybe that's why – Riku can never really see him well, and all the he sees is Riku. Alas, it's Riku who likes that sort of humor; Sora feels too nice and soft for it.

Would it have been better if he resented Riku for always being first, for being brash and cocky and arrogant, for being the golden boy that everybody loves, instead of admiring him and accepting him, forgiving him every time? No, because Riku does (feels) the same for him, every time, it's Sora who always wants something else.

He could have confessed, many many times, but one thing or the other has always held him back, and besides, Sora was content, mostly, because he was _still_ Riku's favorite person, one way or another. There was Kairi, Sora regrets that now – very very much, and he's scared that might happen with Riku, too – scared of disrupting the friendship, so he danced around the subject until it was too late.

How could Riku wait for him if Sora hadn't called out in the first place?

He watches Squall and Riku together from the corner, and wonders if being together is as wonderful as they make it look.

It occurs to him that the whole thing is more than a little cheesy, which is too bad, as Sora likes cheese a lot.

-

"_I'm ho – SHIT! What happened? Sora, are you alright? How much have you been drinking? Sora! What's wrong!"_

" …_nuffin…(hic)…dumped …Kairi…(hic)"_

"_Kairi DUMPED YOU?"_

"'_Coursh no' (hic) …_I _…dump 'er. (hic) What maksh you thing' tha, (hic) Mmkuu?"_

-

One day Riku comes home crying, and Sora is horrified, terrified because even a whole tub of onions couldn't make those sea colored eyes relinquish tears. He holds Riku as the boy sobs, as the whole ugly story comes out, and Sora _cannot believe_ Leon could ever do that, because he _loves_ Riku, even if the only person certain of that is Sora himself.

Because they've got the exact same expression on their faces when they see Riku smile.

He wonders, for a brief, traitorous moment, if he should seize this chance to have Riku all for himself – forget Squall, _Sora_ has been here since the beginning. Will _always_ be here, didn't we _promise_ that, Riku? You remember, right? Just the two of us and the Paopu Tree back at Destiny Isles? _We_ _Promised_.

But like all moments, it passes all too soon.

Because if given the conscious choice, Squall would have been the only other person Sora would trust with Riku's heart. And since he hold Riku's heart anyway, Sora let him, in good faith. Which makes him utterly furious. How dare Squall treat him like that! How dare _Sora_ let Squall treat him like that?

…_why would Squall ever treat him like that?_

So he waits until Riku is asleep, then steals his car and drives all the way to Leon's house, pounding on the door.

The Squall that greets him is haggard and sloppily dressed, but he ignores the half moons under the man's not-_too_-red eyes andtakes him by the collar, almost shaking him, demanding answers in a threatening in a tone that he'd never had to use.

It takes the better part of the night and issues that would make a newbie psychiatrist blanch, but he thinks that in the end it's worth it; thinks it's too bad he accepts the aforementioned answers. By the time he gets home, there is even a slight, bittersweet smile on his face, and a plan of action in his head.

He understands. And even if he doesn't, he'd still do it, because it's for Riku so he will do it, because Sora is like that. But that's irrelevant, anyway.

Next day, Riku finds two new dents in his car, a missing scarf, and himself being ferried off to someplace by a strangely moody Sora.

Said boy parks the car, tells his friend to _please trust him,_ and ushers (forces) Riku inside a thrice-damned familiar apartment.

Later, he goes home alone, eats a half-gallon of ice cream, and thinks that selflessness is _way_ too overrated. But then, it's nothing new. He's been sacrificing for Riku his whole life, one way or the other, and is surprised to find that he's not as bitter as he could be.

"'The boy with moonlight hair,'" he says to the third cup of choco-mint-vanilla. "Squall can be a pretty good poet when he wants to, ya know? I never even though of that."

-

"_Hey, Riku … you like me too, right?"_

"_What kind of silly question is that? Of course I do, you doofus! Did Cid smack your head too hard or somethin'? Geez Sora, sometimes I worry about you…"_

-

There's love, and there's love. That's what you would get if you were to ask Sora about his _real_ feelings for Riku.

There's a kind of love that the hopeless romantics are addicted to, the kind the even the gruff old next door neighbor would admit to craving, if you made him drink enough alcohol in the middle of the night. The kind of love romance novels and romantic comedies are made of, the kind that really does exist, somewhere out there, if you look hard enough.

Sora sometimes doubts he feels 'that' love for Riku. Probably not.

This isn't love. Love is supposed to lift you up cloud nine, supposed to make you grin like and idiot and laugh at the silliness of life, supposed to make you completely _happy._

It's not supposed to hurt like this, like a constant ache you live with from day to day until you get used to it enough to be able to ignore its presence.

Love is about smiles and kisses and corny love poems, exhilarating sensations of a first date, holding hands and walking in the park.

It's not about furtive glances when he's not looking, touches and brushes that linger an iota longer than they have to. It's not about hiding behind a frighteningly real mask of friendship.

Wait…

He stops, and rethinks his musings. No… that's not exactly true. Those definitions are too narrow, too overblown by said movies and romantic novels. Love encompasses a lot more than that.

Love doesn't have to be about warm hugs and steamy kisses and walks in the park. As long as the feeling is there, and as long as it's mutual.

As long as you have the courage to share what's really in your heart.

Sora didn't have that, so maybe it's not love, after all, just an old, old habit he needs for reassurance –

"_Oy, Sora, open up! _I know you're in there!"

The sudden yell should have startled him, but several years of experience proves otherwise.

He wonders why his best friend never knocks or rings the bell. Granted, this is Riku's dorm too, but the point is that he doesn't seem to need to, not when Sora is at the other side. Sora wonders if that's something special.

He gets up and opens the door to Cherry-Pink Cheeks, Rumpled Silver Hair, Messy Clothes and an Obscenely Wide Grin. All signs of a making-out session with Squall… Sora quashes the thought and pastes on a smile that's half real and half fake.

"Welcome home, Riku!"

He beams as Riku returns the greeting, and notices the package in his hands. Blue eyes shift in recognition, before flitting up, meeting bright green-blue. His friend is complaining about how skinny Sora is, about how he's rarely hyper anymore, not that Riku misses the hoopla, but it's _strange_ to see his childhood friend so solemn, and soon, Riku is going to find out but he's respecting Sora's silence. For now.

Then he adds, casually, that Squall is probably worried, too, he's even cooked him dinner, and Sora better eat it all, because Leon's an awesome cook (even though he'd never admit it and reply with the inevitable 'whatever' if pressed)…

The brunette eats it all, and tells Riku a truth: that he's been feeling out of sorts lately, don't worry, he'll be fine eventually, and the pale boy reluctantly accepts this, ignoring the need push on. For now.

"Hey, Riku… can I ask you something?"

"You already did, but fire away."

"You remember how we used to sleep together as children? Your dad even put an extra mattress in your room, though we never used it more than once."

"Because you were scared of the yellow-eyed boogyman?" Riku rolls his eyes. "Yeah, I still get nightmares about the times you've almost asphyxiated me in your sleep."

"Um. Well… about that…"

He trails off, but he's pretty sure Riku gets the message, and he does.

"Alright, you big baby."

It's funny how Riku can understand that sometimes Sora gets terribly lonely, but can never see why. It's not like he still thinks that Sora is pining over Kairi. Funny how he can sense every almost-glance Squall sends him, but not Sora's open staring. It's funny how he doesn't give a second thought to the fact that his almost - adult best friend still wants to sleep in the same bed with him without thinking anything weird.

It's funny how Sora never told him about his feelings when he had the chance.

But it's alright, because he said so, and the lie is slowly becoming truth. Maybe it's time to let go. He'll start tomorrow, a brand new day with a fresh new start. Sora is reasonably sure that he can do it.

Tomorrow. He'll indulge himself one more time tonight.

He slips beside an already slumbering Riku (who's probably dreaming of someone with darker hair and grayer eyes, but Sora's long come to terms with that), and carefully snuggles against his warmth. It feels good, he decides for the millionth time. It feels like home.

"'Night – " he whispers and Riku sighs contentedly, nuzzling his soft brown spikes, and wraps an arm around his waist.

"'Night, Riku."

This isn't love.

"_Good night, So-chan."_

But for a little while, perhaps Sora can pretend that it is.

**Owari**

* * *

Um, this is untitled. Hajime, owari, start, end. OMG I added a Gravitation reference! I love that series. XD 

Um. I 'fixed' it, but not really, I just added some bits and pieces, and hopefully made it clearer. Does it suck a little less? It's still just a draft, even at this point in time. 'The boy with moonlight hair/the moonlit hair.' Lol.

PLEASE REVIEW ME AGAIN!


	13. Stare

Hi guys! For sometimesoctober, and "Of Chain Letters and First Kisses." Much more enjoyable than my drabbles …

Oh, HOW in the world did this get deleted AGAIN? FFnet hates me. Anyway, RE-repost, with nothing changed exceptthe intro.

* * *

**Stare**

-

Sora is looking at him like _that_ again, and Riku is uncomfortable. The gaze is intense, but distant an a bit glazed, like Sora is seeing something deep and alien in Riku's sea-green eyes, and it's as if that something is swallowing Sora whole, or at least hypnotizing him.

Which is a laugh, because whoever heard of reverse hypnotism? Or maybe it's _Sora_ who is trying to do weird things to Riku, and by all rights, he's doing a good job of it.

Riku doesn't like it when Sora does _that_. It makes him want to shiver, his heart thumps faster, and his stomach does weird things.

He doesn't like it at all.

"What are you _doing_?"

"I'm … drowning."

-

**End **

**

* * *

**

Actually, this is version two of the last one. (_Names._ I couldn't decide which was worse, so I post both. o.O "Untitled" does not count, as every twelfth fic is a 'special' – "untitled" goes by the 'antithesis of the theme' theme.) XD Feed me?


	14. Denial

For KitsuneArasi, who wrote the hilarious "So Much for Six Feet Under!" ZOMG read it!

**And** for Nii-chan, who told me it wasn't whisky after all, but cognac, though only God knows where he got it. Stay just the way you are, lesnugglehuggleplushie (that doubles as punching board and torture subject, but the whole world doesn't need to know _that_).

I miss you, you know, and hope you miss me – jj's even wrote this fic for you, see?

Something to laugh at while you're still away. **Happy Brother's Day**, dear, we love you, okay?

* * *

**Denial**

"I'm not gay," Sora exclaims abruptly, pushing aside his calculus homework and glaring at the table like it is the source of all evil.

"Definitely not," Riku replies blandly, poker-faced.

"I don't think your smirk is sexy, I don't think you're drop dead gorgeous, I don't ogle your butt in Chemistry class, and I _don't _get turned on when I think of you naked."

"Of course you don't."

"I like girls a _lot_."

"Yep."

"In fact, I'm getting a girlfriend soon. Like, tomorrow or something."

"Sure you are."

"Damn straight."

A split second later, they're on the floor, tearing each other's clothes off with their teeth.

**End **

**

* * *

**

REVIEW! And yes, I write lewd parody-type gay fics for my 'older brother', who's not really related to me at all. Oh come on, it's not _that _disturbing. XD


	15. Bijou

Hi! Does anyone know that slashable has written this nice, long one-shot titled "Fenced In"? Enjoyable much. Unlike mine.

**

* * *

**

Bijou

Sora keeps with him a certain charm, one given by a dear friend.

_It looks like a penta-something, no, a fruit; yellow and plump and they say it doesn't spoil for _years_, no matter how long it's been sitting in the shelf_.

It is his hope, this little star-shaped thing. Always, when he is on the verge of hopelessness or depression, all he has to do is hold it in his hands, and his surroundings seem a little better, a little brighter. Memories come to visit, to keep him warm. Determination and new resolve fills him.

_It is a memory of what he wants back_.

It is a reminder, of happier times past, of happier times to come. Of smiles and games and beaches and school, way back on good old Destiny Isles – back home. Of where he's supposed to be, where he will be when this is all over.

_It is a reminder of a promise he has yet to fulfill, heck, one he's barely _acknowledged_, but it's probably not the one you're thinking of_.

It is his comfort, and it was Kairi who'd given it to him.

_Because every time he sees it, he also sees a certain paopu fruit he'd hurriedly stuffed in his treasure chest, squirreled away safely in the recesses of that box where he keeps his precious childhood secrets_.

Pretty, sweet, cheerful Kairi.

_Riku_.

-

(In the end, it all comes back to Riku.)

-

**End **

**

* * *

**

OMG IMPORTANT NOTE: This is based off the MANGA. And manga spoiler:_ Riku just hands the paopu fruit to Sora_. No race thingamajig or whatever, just an extra taunt about Kairi but HE'S the one giving it so Kairi doesn't matter much, compared to the game. _And Sora Brings It Home_. I'll stop before I spoil too much, but dewd, that looked slashy to me.

Can someone tell me why is it that every time I edit, the story gets 'UPDATED' even though I haven't added a chapter? Annoying. XO


	16. Story

I'm in the mood for a young-sleepover fic. For my fourth grade English teacher. If only she could read me now…

* * *

**Story**

"And _then_, Juliet gets up and says 'Romeo, ya silly, I was just playin' pretend!' so they hug and kiss and run away from those mean uncles an' live happily ever after, isn't that right, Riku?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"… Riku?"

And _Riku_ remembers, just in time, that Sora spent the entire day with Selphie, so he keeps himself from freaking out or screaming bloody murder, and instead reaches across the bed to ruffle Sora's hair.

"Yeah. Yeah, they did."

**End**

**

* * *

**

…she'd probably kill me. XD

XD Why don't you guys give me themes or suggestions and stuff? I know I'll prolly mess them up, but I want to try. XD Plus other people's ideas are often more awesome than mine.


	17. Beg

For Mrs. Paper, who wrote "Fever", and another one like it, they're both really spiffy, I advise you to read!

* * *

**Beg **

"Nnhhnnn…"

Sora is sprawled under him, moaning, his breath coming in short, hard bursts. His cheeks streaked with red, the brunette arches up, quashing the urge to whimper.

"Rikuu…"

Riku moves, smooth and deliberate, and Sora _squeaks_ but complies, shifting to accommodate the other boy.

"Ahhh… hahh…"

He is gasping now, and trembling; shivers dancing down his body. Riku knows he should move, but the sight of Sora's flushed face and the sound of his almost-groans give Riku a dark, delicious kind of thrill, and he's enjoying it much more than he should.

Sorais _seconds_ away from begging.

"…_Riku_…"

But… he realizes that Sora shouldn't have to beg, and more importantly, Riku doesn't actually _want_ him to.

It feels… wrong, somehow.

So he slips his hand between Sora's legs and spins the spinner.

**End **

**

* * *

**

They were playing _TWISTER_! Riku is above Sora, who is in a _very_ uncomfortable position. That's _all_.

…I'm going to crawl under some hole and die now. Feel free to pour concrete over it and seal my grave.

PS: OMG I've been corrupted by the AkuRoku love.


	18. Closet

In response to the last chapter, here's one where they actually DO something. Yaaay… I think.

For all the Kairi bashers out there. XD She's a _nice_ girl. In fact, there were only _two_ instances where I hated her. In case you want to know, just ask. I'll answer next chapter if anyone wants me to.

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Closet**

-

Shuffle shuffle. Rustle rustle.

Sudden expected flurry of movement.

"Eeeep _Riku_ what are you _doing _– m-my clothes!"

"We can't get out of here until someone comes for us, Sora, and that won't happen anytime soon. I say we make the best of it."

"But – "

"Just relax."

"But Riku – hey, cut that out, it tickles –"

"Mmmm?"

"Hehehe, stop it, st – _ohhh_."

"Mmmmm."

"… A-aah… R-Rikuuu…"

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Soft pop.

"Yes, Sora, what were you saying?"

"…mmmuh…?"

Audible smirk.

"Well then, if you've got nothing more to add, _I_ say we continue…"

Suspicious noises ensue.

Outside, with her ear pressed against an innocent-looking but not-so-innocent-sounding blue closet, Kairi listens. She stays still for a few more minutes, then leaves, twirling a set of keys on her finger as soon as she is out of earshot.

"Oh gee," she sighs happily, "I should 'accidentally' lock them in more often."

-

**End **

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

XD I love closet fics, though I can't write them in their entirety. jj doesn't have the stomach or the skill for heavy making-out scenes. I have to settle for the mild stuff… Review me, please please please!


	19. Morning

Dedication: Daitai Otonashii Ookami, who wrote "Things That Aren't Real." _Really_ nice.

One person asked and I couldn't e-mail back, so… I hated Kairi during KHI: the 'let's sail off, just the TWO of us' incident, and the end, when Sora stays behind – she gives nary a _thought_ to Riku during those times. Am I wrong? But like her a lot the rest of the time.

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Morning**

_SCREEEEEEEEEEECH._

The alarm clock screams happily, followed by a startled yelp, vague slapping sounds, and muffled curses; the cacophony ending with a loud smash against the wall. Riku pauses smugly, listening, and goes back to mixing pancake batter.

A few minutes later, a bedroom door creaks open and slams shut. It is followed by various other noises which can be summed up like this:

Mutter mutter stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp _stomp stomp_ **whoa! **_crash_ thud thud thud _smack **OWWW**_.

Then Sora appears, dressed in wrinkly plaid pajamas, nursing several bruises and wearing a bleary-eyed scowl. If you squint, you can probably see the dark storm cloud of DOOM hovering above his head.

Then he sees Riku, wearing in an apron (plus his customary smirk) in front of the stove; hears breakfast being cooked. He smells freshly brewed coffee on the table; glimpses curling wisps of steam escaping from the mug's rim.

He catches the way the early morning sunshine streams through the windows, lending a fiery red-gold glow to muted silver hair, and notes absently that the apron is pink, patterned with broken hearts and paopu fruits.

His scowl turns upside down, stretching from ear to ear, and his eyes lighten.

"_Gooood_ morning, Riku!" he chirps, and everyone who's there to see can see that he means it.

**End**

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

FFnet doesn't like me. XO All _edits_ are read as _new chapters_; characters, extra spaces or punctuation marks, etc I see in other people's fics are automatically _deleted_ in mine; and now the break lines aren't working. x3 But these are just minor wibbles, I'm still happy with my account. I just hope you guys aren't inconvenienced.

Kindly review, flame, suggest, or criticize!


	20. Angel plus AkuRoku

For "Dance, Dance" by the nilla wafer. It was fun!

Anywhoo… I thought I should try something… abstract, for once. XD So I did the ten-minute challenge drabble: overstretching a SINGLE sentence…

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Angel**

Riku is drowning it is pitch black

– _darkness come come into darkness come on boy _–

and cold _so cold_ and deep he tries to swim up to the surface and escape but horrible accusing baleful yellow eyes are watching

– _yes yes yes you belong boy yes come yes to us yes _–

their deformed talons _cold clammy strong_ are reaching for him pulling him _down_ downdowndowndown dragging him back he tries to kick to break away to get free to resist

– _no no no feeble useless no no stop boy_ –

they sink their claws into skin into flesh a small cloud of _something_ spurts from his chest he cannot see it just a sense just a feeling of _pain_ painpainpainpain enough to make him _scream_ but there's no sound in this blackness only silence only voices in his head

– _see boy red red red not a rose wrong red is blood see –_

and there's no one around to hear him _shriek_ to hear him _wail _suddenly his legs and arms are tired _so tired_ he is exhausted and _weak_ weakweakweakweak still he must fight even though he is

– _silly arrogant foolish little bad bad bad boy you only make it harder stop_ –

helpless and drowning the feeling was so familiar but now he hates it and the slimy appendages are pulling him down down down down he can hardly resist them anymore

– _give in give in just give in it will neverevereverend_ –

and he realizes that it's _useless_ so he stops fighting and his body is shutting down

(_no no not like this_ _no please_ help me)

viselike grips are loosening cruel barbs are letting go the but it's too late now he cannot notice anymore all he can to do summon one last happy memory

(_please_)

because he doesn't want to die _completely _alone…

-

(_is it over_)

_-_

…then two hands grab his _warm_ and _firm_ and _comforting_

– _there you are finally been looking everywhere _–

Riku feels _home_ he catches a glimpse of colors

– _I hurt you I'm_ _sorry I missed you so _much_ –_

honey and earth and forget-me-not _sky_

– _here now always ever you me we'll go together _–

before he is pulled into light.

**End **

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**start **-- O! MA! KE! AkurokunessssenukorukA !EK !AM !O -- **trats**

-

Roxas is drowning he is alone and cold _so cold_ and quiet just silence silencesilencesilence pressing all around him and _blankness_ no something no anything just him and _nothingness_ a terrifying suffocating _–_

"Rox-ass. Oi, earth to Roxie. I'm right here, ya know. Stop bein' all _emo_. Want me to kiss it better?"

Roxas scowls. Stupid Axel.

-

**end** -- O! MA! KE! AkurokunessssenukorukA !EK !AM !O -- **dne**

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

And I came up with… this. ((pokes it)) Full of convoluted run-on phrases, dreamscape-ish images, and the clichéd _cheesiness _my muse just refuses to avoid. She didn't even let me do a tragic ending for once.

I refuse to take responsibility for the horrid omake. (jj is shot) Someone must have drugged me with Hershey's and tinkered with my account while I was off being un-lucid. (jj is bricked) That said, I have never played KH2; therefore, I don't know how to characterize these two Nobodies properly. (jj is spat upon)

Please please please review. I'd love to know how my experiment turned out... And I think the title should be changed. Help, suggestions?


	21. Meticulous

Someone has a fic called "Ten Years" and it is to Hanita-chan that I dedicate this undeserving chapter to. Please review or critique or comment, I really need those!

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Meticulous**

_Riku is_ so_ picky!_

Sora usually doesn't mind; in fact, it's a good thing, because Sora himself is hopelessly messy, and all mixed up. Being best friend with a neat freak definitely has its perks.

But sometimes it's nothing less than exasperating, like now, because Riku is _so fussy_, and _some things_ have to be done the right way or not at all, no excuses.

Sora huffs, he just _knows_ he'll mess everything up, because it's all so _complicated_, and why can't they just glue everything together and go out to play? It _is_ such a nice day out, too…

But if he skips out, Riku will be upset (and sulky even if he won't show it), and making Riku upset, even if it's just a little bit, is something Sora _just won't do_, because –

Well, _because_.

So Sora pouts and sighs and sticks his tongue out and grumbles, but does it anyway.

**End **

**--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

What is it that Riku wants him to do, exactly? Who knows. OMG I need _more_ Soriku fic recs. C'mon, tell me your fave authors and fics. Pretty please? With dancing sugar cookie Axels on top? Comedy and some Akuroku is ESPECIALLY appreciated.


	22. Reunion plus Funnies

Been rereading the manga (volume two) and I noticed that in chap 16, when Sora sees 'Kairi' in Merlin's, he's going "whoa! Kairi?" But when he hears Riku's voice he goes all "OMG _RIKU_? It's really Riku!" and _blushes_. So. Cute. Until Donald and Maleficent and estrangement happen then it's all angsty. D'aaaaw poor resentful hurt Riku. ((weeps))

This chappie is for Yume.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Reunion**

"_Aaahhh…!_"

Sora shrieks and turns _no-no-no_ _can-it-be_ _is-it-really_ and _YES_ there is Riku, _cocksure smirking hands-on-hips_ like nothing's changed at all and Sora's cheeks are way warm and _cherry-peach-pink_ but he doesn't care because is brain is busy frying cartwheeling exploding _RikuRikuRikuRiku_ like firecrackers on Fourth of July so he also doesn't notice the way his arms are spread in ridiculously wide sappy welcome or the way his heart is pumping hard and way way _way _too _fast_ –

"I've been looking all over for you, Sora."

– because _Riku's_ _here_, and Sora feels so happy he thinks he could burst.

**End **

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Utterly Pointless, I know. XD Sorry for the update/edit errors, I _still_ can't fix it. Pissing me off already. D:

Anyway, Yume has found this hilarious VGcats Soriku comic featuring Riku, Sora and Kairi. Worship her, please. w(3). vgcats. com/ comics/ images/ 060918. jpg


	23. Phantasmagoric plus AkuRoku

This is for Kawsek. x3 Do yourself a favor and read Kawsek's Riku/Sora fics! They'll make you go squee! I did.

Warning: crack.

* * *

**Phantasmagoric**

"Sora! Let us elope and get married and discover new worlds together on our honeymoon, leaving our friends and family behind in an act of defiance against the society that dares to condemn our love!"

"Um… Okay."

"After which we are going to purchase a huge ship, and live a life of adventure (and hot, mad ninja pirate sex) then beget numerous adorable children!"

"Sure thi – hey wait, we're both guys, so how're we gonna have children, Ri-ku?"

"No matter. We shall adopt numerous adorable children and adore them like they were our own!"

"Okay!"

"Alright then! Let us commence with the (hot, mad ninja pirate) sex immediately!"

"Yay!"

"Would you be so kind as to hand me that bottle of strawberry-scented lube over there?"

That morning, Sora wakes up with a start.

"Oh Gods," he mutters, face in hands, "Why can't I have my happy dreams like _normal_ people?"

**End **

**

* * *

**

Holla! A couple of wonderful people told me that it was fine the way it was, so no editing. Just another lame AkuRoku…thing.

-

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" screams Roxas, shooting out of his bed like it's infested with salivating rabid yaoi fangirl monsters. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"AAAAAAHHHH!" screams his mother, as she runs to his room and slams the door open. "_ROXAS!_"

"… Gods _no_ I dreamed that I eloped with our flaming psycho pyromaniac neighbor on a huge-ass _ship_ and traveled different worlds while having hot mad ninja pirate sex in several different positions and adopted ten _kids_ and holy shit I want to _die_…"

"Oh," says Elena, calmly watching her only son writhe on the floor in a traumatized daze. "Do you want the ship in brown or red?"

-

Okay! I DID say that there would be something different every twelve chapters, right? So next chapter will be longer, like the unnamed one. Hopefully it'll be better too.


	24. The BAD Chapter with Extras

I _love_ those fun, light and fluffy Sorikus. So, as a dare… for the 'special chapter', I'm gonna try the 'do the piece you'd never be caught dead writing'. So, please tell me how this made you feel. I need the feedback like WHOA. Rating's skimming T.

For the brilliant **Dualism**, who does not deserve a tribute as pathetic as this to be laid at her feet. Go read 'Surgeon General's Warning' now! XD And while you're at it, read her Zemyx stuff too.

**

* * *

**

**And to Think This Is Supposed to Be a Special…**

-

Sora hates doing this, hates it more than anything in the world.

But he lets Riku mash their mouths together; wrap slimy tongues around each other and tries so _hard_ not to pull away or retch even as the bile is rising up his throat. He lets his best friend's fingers grope and touch and invade but doesn't return the gestures, doesn't want Riku to feel his own cold, sweaty palms. Riku pulls his zipper down. Sora's not flinching at the stickiness and roughness and dirt and crudeness and the uneven pace, even manages a shaky moan.

_This'll stop soon, _he thinks, squeezing his lids shut. _– just pretend this is _– Sora immediately pushes the thought away, refuses to finish it because that subject is dead and gone, zip nada stop stop stop.

He's made his choice. Riku needs him and in the end there wasn't any choice at all, not really, ever since the start. Promised never to let go paopu or no paopu; whatever the fuck happens, including Heaven and including Hell.

So Sora had let Riku smile at him, and play with him and beat him at races and read stories to him and mock-tease him and share drinks with him and take care of him and lash out at him and flirt with him and cry on him, and live with him.

And touch him and kiss him and _do these things with him_ and Sora will let him until they both die – _enough dammit I'm not _listening_ to you_ –

He's thinking too much, past and present and future, too much to notice when they're finally both completely naked.

– it's all so _surreal_ –

– but suddenly there's _heat_ and _flesh_ and _contact_ and no escape. Sora hates it but his body's excited, much too excited. So that means he _wants this_ and he hates that even more, but Riku's – _slamming pounding thrusting_ – oh _god!_ – and he discovers he can't hold it in at all, he yells out loud and is glad when it is mistaken as enthusiastic passion.

And Riku _screams – _

Then it's all over. Sora's still hard but he ignores it; ignores the need to wipe his mouth and scrub everything away in water. They lie back to back on the cold filthy floor, not touching, and then Riku turns to face him and clutches Sora's head in his hands.

"I'm sorry," Riku whispers brokenly, eyes glassy, limbs shaking – looking desolate and shriveled and defeated and _nothing_ like the confident fiery boy he had once been. "I went too fast but I _want_ you I _need_ you and _fuck_, Sora, I –"

"Shhh, shhhh…" Sora responds, pulling Riku to him and ignoring the urge to cringe. Instead he plasters on a fake smile, the one Riku used to call 'Totally Unconvincing Fake Sora Smirk'. But Riku can't tell if it's fake or real anymore, and Sora refuses to dwell in the subject.

"It's okay, more than okay actually, it's just _great_."

"I…." Riku's fists clench, his breath hitches convulsively. Sora is reminded forcibly of a little boy, but Riku's _his_ little boy and Sora will take care of him. No matter what it takes.

"_Ri-ku_. If you're going to be like this every time we have sex, we might as well _not_ have any sex, and where's the fun in _that_?"

He feeds the illusion, adds to the lies, and is rewarded with the faintest of grins on Riku's swollen, kiss-chapped lips.

"Sora…I love you."

"I love you too." And he _means_ it. He'll do _anything_ for Riku, because he loves him, loves him more than anyone else in the entire _world_ –

And he'll keep on loving Riku more than any brother he's never had.

-

**End**

**

* * *

**

I know it's not especially shocking or gross or anything, but… This is the _last_ type of Riku/Sora relationship – make it ANY relationship – I'd wanna write about. It's an emotionally squicky issue for me. But teh jj is a _complete_ masochist when it comes to dares. It was _not fun_ to write; I wanted to get it over with ASAP – does it show?

I really need the reviews for this one. Please? It'll help me get over the trauma of writing something that makes my insides crawl. I'll edit this one, too. Someday, when I'm old enough to _legally_ write limey stuff.

-

Side story to make me feel better. No one needs to read this.

-

Riku stares at the computer screen, not talking, not blinking.

After forty-five seconds of this silent non-blinkage-ness, Kairi risks a finger to poke him.

Riku twitches.

"Riku... Are you okay?"

"…"

"…"

"Did we just have _sex?_"

"Um…yes?"

"_Nonconsensual_ sex?"

"Well… technically... no. "

"Kairi. This is her first (semi-)sex scene, and it has to be about me emotionally raping my best friend?"

"She had to start _somewhere_. Besides, Sora was perfectly willing, therefore it wasn't rape."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Did it work?"

"Hell no! Delete this! _At once_! Replace it wi– "

"You've done scenes a hundred times as heartbreaking, and fifty times as obscene; all without missing a beat."

"Well, shit. I guess I thought I was safe with this author."

"Tough luck, kiddo."

"Thank you, Kairi."

"Anytime, Riku."

Sora walks in. Seeing Riku's dumbstruck look, (not to mention Kairi's carefully schooled expression) he ambles towards the computer and reads over Riku's shoulder.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…did we just have _sex_?"


	25. Old

Dedicated to "Drunken Nights" and its author, RainbowSerenity. Great stuff, that. Reeeeeaaad her fiiiiics…

* * *

**Old**

Everybody knows about the oldest citizens in town – those two ancient men, even older than foul-mouthed Mr. Cid, even though they don't look it. They certainly don't act like it.

They're something of a novelty, those two; the measuring stick of how far a friendship can last. They're also the subject of idle chitchat, every time gossip is scarce. Mystery surrounds them like a shroud, from their too-young appearance to their unconventional relationship to the secrets hidden in their eyes.

The smaller one – most can't quite remember his first name, but they know it has something to do with the heavens – his hair is pure white, not quite as spiky anymore. He has the brightest blue eyes; and a constant, polite little smile. It's said that he was once a great warrior, _very_ different from the way he is now, but no one remembers the details.

His friend is taller, with beautiful, eye-catching silver hair that has caught the unvoiced envy of more than a few. Rumor has it that it's been like that since forever, but no one dares to ask him rude things like that. He has an _air_ around him – dangerous and secret – that hasn't faded with time; a darkness hidden in shifting green depths.

Some say they'd fought against each other once, in an old, great battle where the fighters weren't _really_ human, where there was magic and spells and powerful weapons that no longer exist. Most people aren't too inclined to believe it – war is a distant, faint word for them. And the two are so close; the notion of _serious_ conflict between them is ridiculous.

They go to the bar every other Tuesday, making their way across Main Street, bickering like an old married couple, some would mutter, but the last person to say this out _loud_ was met with stares and snorts and giggles.

And it is Tuesday today, so they walk, squabbling about some subject or the other, indifferent to the rolled eyes and amused glances thrown their way as they pass by.

But just across the road –

"Hey Riku, d'ya think we're gonna end up like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like Gran'pa Strife an' Mister Seffiroff, best friends till, like f'rever or somethin'."

"Hn. I dunno. Maybe."

The young sky-named child grins, clamping on to the pale boy beside him, face shining with glee.

"_Awesome_."

**End **

**

* * *

**

Um… please tell me some of you _didn't_ see that coming. XD Just noticed that Seph and Cloud resemble Riku and Sora in some ways. Constructive criticism and suggestions are most appreciated. XD

-

**MERRY (very late) CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! HAPPY (also late) NEW YEAR!**

Teh jj wishes she can hug and kiss people over the internet, but she can't. So. ((snuggle-tackle-glomp-smooch-huuuuuug))

Hope you guys received the most kickass of gifts, had the best of fun, sang tons of cool carols, and shared a LOT of holiday cheer. And it's _still_ the season to be jolly, so BE HAPPY 'til your heart feels like it's gonna burst!

And may ALLLL your Holidays be Merry, Bright and Whiiiiiite!


	26. Blackberries

To Laepse Raevn – now that is one wonderful writer. I definitely recommend Running With Scissors! Cookies for the ones who can say where I got the theme for 'blackberries and kisses'.

* * *

**Blackberry **

"Kisses," announces Wakka (with the wise, I-know-something-you-don't air that comes naturally to most ten year olds), "taste like chicken."

"No they don't." Tidus immediately counters, as if such abrupt statements are the norm when visiting an ice cream parlor with your friends (more so if said friend is a blitzball addict with no apparent inclination towards romance whatsoever). "They taste like cooties."

"There're no such _things_ as cooties, ya?"

"I've heard they taste like mint and chocolate and lots of other nice stuff and they're really, really sweet, like you're floating on cotton candy and you can almost get lost in the fuzzy feelings it gives you, and it's really, really special, 'specially if you're kissed by your one true love 'cause then you'll _know_ that that person is your _most important person_, oh, isn't that just _romantic_?" So adds the third occupant of their table, who still hadn't gotten over her Sugar-and-CLAMP overdose.

"What about you, Sora?" asks Kairi, obviously trying not to be asked _that question_ herself, because of some important reason we don't need to get into right now. Like the fact that she already knows that kisses do not, in fact, taste like chicken, unless you've been snacking on chickenburgers and fries beforehand. But I digress.

"So-ra!"

"I dunno…" he replies absentmindedly, eyes straying to the counter where Riku is busy trying to decide between blackberry sherbet and rainbow sundae. "But…"

"But what?"

He sees as Riku samples a bit of the fruity sherbet after having charmed the counter girl into letting him have a little taste.

"I was kinda thinking, they might taste something like blackberries."

**End

* * *

**

XO My rented muse has finally ABANDONED me. I've lost the drive to write, which is why this five-minute ficlet sucks more than usual. XP BUT… YOU can HELP this poor ailing fangirl by RECOMMENDING good Sora/Riku fics. OR any excellent shounen-ai fics from Yami no Matsuei, Death Note (L/Raito), One Piece (Zoro/Sanji), and Air Gear (Kazu/Sano, Ikki/Akito). OR any outstanding genfic. OR anything funny. THANK YOU. :D


	27. Warmth plus Drabble

I R ALIVE. Sad to say, my skills have not improved, jj's still a bad writer. WOE. Also, I have no new material; I just found this on the hard drive as I was cleaning up old files. This has a companion piece by the way, but it's lost, so… sorry? D: I'll look for that, or do major editing on this piece if it doesn't make sense at all.

-

**Warmth**

It's cold, late in the afternoon. The sun is sinking, but its rays cannot pierce through the thick dark canopy of clouds – they render the sky a dreary, muddy-gray, lighter than the blackish ocean. There's a faint static in the air, warning of impending storms. Two figures walk along the beach, presumably to see the sunset, yet there will be no blaze of color, tonight. There won't even be stars.

It's cold, autumn-chilly, and the smaller one shivers as dead leaves swirl in the breeze, rustling, crackling as the brush past his face. He's not wearing gloves, or even a sweater, and he shuffles his footsteps faster, moving closer to his companion, who is straight-backed and steadfast, staring at the sea, seemingly immune to the cold and unmindful of the gray.

Sora does not know why he invited Riku out today.

_It's cold._

He steps up to Riku; puts his arms around his friend's chest and buries his face in the crook of Riku's neck, breathing deeply. His hands come together, directly above Riku's heart, and he feels fingers ghost over his, hesitating, then covering his own in a gesture of acknowledgement. Feels the rhythm of a heartbeat below his palm, steady and slow and _there_.

_Once upon a time there was a boy, bright and strong and beautiful and held in high esteem by everyone who beheld him. He was like the hero prince in legends, larger than life, and that's how I saw him because he blinded me, me who was too young (too enthralled with the fairytales mother told) to see the unsatisfaction and insecurity simmering behind his eyes, that he was a kid, too, naïve and unsure of how to take our admiration - except to let it feed his arrogance. He was my best friend, you know._

_And I wanted to be just like him._

"Hey," Riku says, a bit tickled perhaps, but he does not flinch; does not jerk away. "What's up?"

_I wanted to be just like you._

"Nothing…" Sora murmurs, nuzzling into silver hair, taking in the scents of mint and cotton and Riku's girly shampoo, and trying not to think of how nice this feels. Or how new. "Just the wind."

_I could never reach your level, though. I tried, but you were always superior, and after some time I accepted it as natural. I didn't like it, but you were better in everything so I thought you'd always be right. It never occurred to me that you might have weaknesses, that you might be wrong, that being better than anyone else wasn't all it was cracked up to be._

_I never thought that maybe you were lonely, because weren't we together all the time?_

_I chased and chased (but did I really try, did I truly think I could reach) but you were always ahead and all I could see as your back, and didn't notice that I – we – were losing you. Didn't see the distance getting bigger. Then you were gone, and I realized how much I'd missed you._

"Cold?"

"Mmmm… not anymore."

"No?"

"Nope."

He snuggles deeper, forgetting things like propriety and personal boundaries because this is _Riku, finally_, here and now and solid and warm, and from now on Sora's making sure he won't be left behind. Not anymore. He's going to hold on with all he's got. And Riku's not protesting, not at all.

_It's not like I didn't mind being behind you all the time, because I did, because you had to run ahead and prove yourself (even when you never needed to) and I couldn't catch up…_

Things are different now, Riku is different and what Sora sees is a boy-turning-man, not the hero figure who couldn't wrong, not Riku the shining ideal; but Riku – pretty (though he hates being called that) strong and graceful (he hates that, too) more sure of himself, less angry, less frustrated but still restless, sometimes. Who never gets sick of yellow vests with way too many zippers, who screeches when you put a pair of scissors anywhere near his hair, who hates losing, who calls other people 'saps' even as he piles on the melodrama, who polishes his keyblade with shoe shiners, who likes to brood until he works up a mini-depression.

Who's just human, who makes mistakes. Who's free to be forgiven. Sora's done chasing after him, and he won't let Riku get away again, but he thinks he'll stay a little behind, instead of stepping right beside. When his thoughts aren't as jumbled, when things have settled down, maybe they can…

…_I thought we were closer than anyone else, but I wasn't really seeing you, was I, maybe I was seeing the Riku I thought was there, and when your back was turned I shouldn't have ignored it._

_But from now on…_

"Riku?"

For now, Sora's still sorting everything out. He's not going to let Riku get away anymore. But Sora thinks that maybe, for now, he'll stay a little behind. That way, Sora will be there to catch him if he falls.

"Yeah?"

"…your back is warm."

_I'm gonna come closer, to reachtouch_feel,_ I'm gonna breach that distance instead of keeping away._

-

**End**

-

Anyway, (as evidenced by my pathetic pleas for recs) I'm primarily a _reader_, not a writer, so I want to thank everybody who recced me goodfic. I love you. And I'll keep on loving you. And I'll love you even more if you keep on doing so

Also, lookit this nifty site: prillalar(dot)com(slash)drabbles(slash) It's a drabble generator, and such fun! Here's an example! (I don't advise you to post your results as actual "_stories_" on ffnet, though. Since you didn't really write them and all. XD)

-

**Panic-filled Love**

Riku finished packing. Ever since Sora, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Riku had been slippery.

There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing drop-kicked him, all was grossly green-tinged. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going beyond the brilliant blue sky to become a pedantic strawberries.

Just then, there was an arousing knock at the door. Riku opened it and stood there gleefully for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his hair.

When Riku came to, Sora was holding his eyeball and looking sedentary.

"My love," Sora said angstily, "I'm sorry for the sexy shock. I've been shipwrecked on a meteor island for the last ten years, living as sly as the enigmatic half-smile of an Egytptian sphinx. I was only rescued last week." He paused. "I lost my toenails in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Riku could hardly believe his Sora had returned. "I will always love you, toenails or no toenails. Besides, you can cover it up with a desk."

They embraced gracelessly and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was sticky.


End file.
